Closest to Your Heart- chapter 10
CHAPTER 10
May held her arm up in a wave as she watched Will and Adele's car pull out of the farmyard. She was sad to see them go, yes, but also a little relieved. Keeping up with her three young grandsons that morning was harder than she'd expected. Though she didn't like to admit it, she was getting old. May turned and went into the house. She was going to boil herself a cup of tea and then sit down for a rest.
The kettle had just begun to whistle when May heard a knock on the door. Then a woman's said, "May? Where're ya at?"
"I'm in the kitchen, Ruthie. Come on in. Want a cup of tea?" May called to her lifelong friend.
Ruthie entered the kitchen before answering. "Sure, I'll have a cup of tea with ya. Seems like it's been ages since we've chatted, so I decided to drop in."
"I'm glad you did. I've missed talkin' to you." May walked over and hugged Ruthie. "Have a seat. I'll put the tea in the cups and then come join you."
"How've things been?" Ruthie asked.
"Oh, as well as can be expected. Will came down yesterday and brought his family. It was good to see them." May replied.
"Wisht I coulda seen them." Ruthie said." Bet them boys are growing like weeds."
"Mm-hmm. I watched them today while Will and Adele visited Abel. They are a handful!"
"So you didn't see Abel today?"
"No, I let Will and Adele go in and visit him since they were here. I get kinda tired of goin' in, to be honest with you."
"I never thought I'd hear you say that."
"Well, it's hard." May pushed the sugar bowl toward her friend.
"I figured it'd be." Ruthie scooped some sugar into her cup as she spoke. "You're strong, May. And you've got God."
"Sometimes, Ruthie, I feel like my prayers are blocked, like I can't get through to God. Sometimes I-" May blushed," I get the feeling God doesn't even care."
"That's foolishness, May, and you know it." Ruthie said, reaching out to cover May's hand with her own.
"I know, but I wonder why He hasn't answered my pleas for Abel." May began to cry softly.
"I don't know why God hasn't answered your prayers, but I'm positive He knows what He's doin'. You know that verse in Romans 8. ' All things work together for good to them that love God...' . God knows what's best for you, even if it's difficult."
" I feel so childish doubting God like this. But I need my husband!" May sobbed.
"May." Ruthie gave May's arm a shake. "Did ya ever think that it may be God's will for you not to have your husband? Maybe God wants you to realize that what you really need is Him." Ruthie gentled her voice. " I think sometimes God wants us to give Him what we hold closest to our hearts. Place it in His capable, lovin' hands and leave everythin' up to Him. I want you to think on that now. I'll go on home. Thanks for the tea." Ruthie rose and hugged her crying friend.
May sat in stunned silence, letting tears pour down her face. She knew what Ruthie had said was true, yet she struggled. What if she surrendered Abel over to God's will- she knew she was being selfish trying to keep him- and God chose to take him? What would she do then?
Suddenly, the tears slowed, and May's back straightened with resolve. She'd trust in God. he would work out all things for good, because she loved Him. No matter what He chose, it would be for good.
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May walked into the hospital room and deposited her things in a chair. She turned to the bed Abel laid in, taking his hand in both of hers. Kneeling by the bed, May began to cry.
"Oh, God," she prayed aloud, "I have been so selfish. I have tried to fight you for my husband instead of trusting in you. I know he would be much happier with you. So, Lord, I'm giving Abel to you. I realize that you will do what is best for me. Help me to find peace in whatever your will is. I love you, God, and I only want what you choose for my life. So here is my husband. I hold him closest to my heart. And now he's Yours."
The kettle had just begun to whistle when May heard a knock on the door. Then a woman's said, "May? Where're ya at?"
"I'm in the kitchen, Ruthie. Come on in. Want a cup of tea?" May called to her lifelong friend.
Ruthie entered the kitchen before answering. "Sure, I'll have a cup of tea with ya. Seems like it's been ages since we've chatted, so I decided to drop in."
"I'm glad you did. I've missed talkin' to you." May walked over and hugged Ruthie. "Have a seat. I'll put the tea in the cups and then come join you."
"How've things been?" Ruthie asked.
"Oh, as well as can be expected. Will came down yesterday and brought his family. It was good to see them." May replied.
"Wisht I coulda seen them." Ruthie said." Bet them boys are growing like weeds."
"Mm-hmm. I watched them today while Will and Adele visited Abel. They are a handful!"
"So you didn't see Abel today?"
"No, I let Will and Adele go in and visit him since they were here. I get kinda tired of goin' in, to be honest with you."
"I never thought I'd hear you say that."
"Well, it's hard." May pushed the sugar bowl toward her friend.
"I figured it'd be." Ruthie scooped some sugar into her cup as she spoke. "You're strong, May. And you've got God."
"Sometimes, Ruthie, I feel like my prayers are blocked, like I can't get through to God. Sometimes I-" May blushed," I get the feeling God doesn't even care."
"That's foolishness, May, and you know it." Ruthie said, reaching out to cover May's hand with her own.
"I know, but I wonder why He hasn't answered my pleas for Abel." May began to cry softly.
"I don't know why God hasn't answered your prayers, but I'm positive He knows what He's doin'. You know that verse in Romans 8. ' All things work together for good to them that love God...' . God knows what's best for you, even if it's difficult."
" I feel so childish doubting God like this. But I need my husband!" May sobbed.
"May." Ruthie gave May's arm a shake. "Did ya ever think that it may be God's will for you not to have your husband? Maybe God wants you to realize that what you really need is Him." Ruthie gentled her voice. " I think sometimes God wants us to give Him what we hold closest to our hearts. Place it in His capable, lovin' hands and leave everythin' up to Him. I want you to think on that now. I'll go on home. Thanks for the tea." Ruthie rose and hugged her crying friend.
May sat in stunned silence, letting tears pour down her face. She knew what Ruthie had said was true, yet she struggled. What if she surrendered Abel over to God's will- she knew she was being selfish trying to keep him- and God chose to take him? What would she do then?
Suddenly, the tears slowed, and May's back straightened with resolve. She'd trust in God. he would work out all things for good, because she loved Him. No matter what He chose, it would be for good.
><><><><><><><
May walked into the hospital room and deposited her things in a chair. She turned to the bed Abel laid in, taking his hand in both of hers. Kneeling by the bed, May began to cry.
"Oh, God," she prayed aloud, "I have been so selfish. I have tried to fight you for my husband instead of trusting in you. I know he would be much happier with you. So, Lord, I'm giving Abel to you. I realize that you will do what is best for me. Help me to find peace in whatever your will is. I love you, God, and I only want what you choose for my life. So here is my husband. I hold him closest to my heart. And now he's Yours."
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