{No Turning Back - part VI}
May 15th, 1847 Plum Creek
We stopped a little earlier than usual today, since we came to Plum Creek, which is a nice campsite. Some of the folks seemed to think this was a good reason to have a party of sorts. Pa thought it over some and decided to let them. He figured it might do good for some people.
So it was decided that instead of everyone making their own meals, we'd have a potluck dinner, and each person'd bring one or two things. I decided on frying up some meat with potatoes and used some of our dried apples to make a cobbler in the Dutch oven.
I ended up having time to fool around with, and I decided it was high time me and Missy washed our hair. I found some soap in the wagon and we walked up the creek a ways till we found a deep spot. Then we washed our hair, legs, arms, and faces. It felt so good washing off the trail dust.
Then Missy and me just laid on the banks in the sun, with our hair hanging loose so it'd dry. We talked and laughed and played with each other's hair, her plaiting my thick black hair and me trying to curl her own coppery-brown mane. It was such a good time, it felt like just what we used to do back home, when we were younger.
We finally headed back to the wagons, leaving our hair loose because it was still wasn't dry. I'd almost forgot about the cobbler I'd set to bakin', but it didn't burn. I got to work frying up the meat and taters.
Miss Myrtle walked up just as I was getting riled about my hair getting in the way of my cooking. It was dry, but I didn't have time to stop and braid it. "Here, chile," she said, "Sit here on this crate and let me do yo' hair." She pulled a crate up beside the fire so I could still cook and patted it. I took a seat.
"Thanks, Miss Myrtle. Sometimes my mane's just 'bout insufferable." I said, stirring the food.
"Yo' hair is mighty purty. Bible sez that a womanz crown is her hair." Miss Myrtle said as she began to plait my hair." You be grateful you got lotsa hair. Someday you'll lose it like I am." She chuckled. "There now, all done." She patted my shoulder.
"Thanks again, Miss Myrtle."
" Sho', honey, anytime." She smiled." Now, you make sho' you catch yo'self a fella tonight."
"Aw, Miss Myrtle, I ain't into catching myself a fella. I want him to catch me." I said, pulling the meat off the fire.
"Well, then, yo' wiser than I thought." She said as she headed back to her own wagon.
Dusk was starting to fall, so I sat aside the food that we were taking and climbed into the wagon with Missy to get ready for the party. We put on our best dresses and worked on each other's hair.
Soon we were on our way to the gathering at the center of our circle of wagons. Pa, Clint, Joel, and Andy were already there, and they all looked fine in their best shirts with their hair combed. I set the food with the other vittles on the make-shift tables and then went and found Viola and Carl.
"You look lovely tonight, Callie." Viola said as I walked up.
"Well, thanks, but I didn't do nothing special." I replied, kinda embarrassed.
"I think it's the dress. I wish I was as trim as you right now." she said, gesturing to her belly.
"You will be soon enough." I laughed."Then you won't even care 'bout your figure, 'cause you'll only think of that baby!"
"I'll be you're right." Viola smiled and reached for Carl's hand.
Just then somebody started beatin' on a pot to announce that it was time to start the meal. Pa said a prayer and then everyone got in two lines along the sides of the tables. There was so much food to pick from. I mean, it was just regular fare; beans, potatoes, salt pork, bacon, some fish, biscuits, and cornbread, but everyone added their own special ingredients to it. And some even brought things like jams and preserves for the breads. There were even a few dried-fruit pies.
After all the eating, the food was left out for pickin' but covered by tablecloths. Night had nigh fallen, and some of the young men were starting a large bonfire at one end of the camp. Everyone headed that way and stood around.
Apparently Lem and Clint didn't think this was right, because next thing I know, they're playin' away, and there's a square dance beginnin' in front of me. I moved out of the way of the dancers towards the fire, near where the musicians were playing. More folks with instruments had joined Clint and Lem. Mr. Withers was calling out the steps for the dancers, and I sat on a wagon tongue behind his and the players.
Between one of the songs, Mr. Withers turned around and asked, "Why ain't you out there, Callie? I think you're makin' many a feller miss out."
"Don't know how, sir." I replied, adding,"Plus, I don't know that I should."
"Well, then, how's about pickin' a song fer us to play?" he smiled.
"All right. How's Buffalo Gals?" I suggested.
"Fine," he turned and told the players.
After that, he let me pick all the songs. It was nice of him, seein' as how I wasn't doin' nothin' else. Sure was fun, though, watching all the dancers swinging about it the circle of wagons. They laughed and carried on, teasing one another.
One time Tressy flounced up to the players and requested a song, fluttering her lashes. I looked away. The way some girls flirt makes me sick.
But the next minute I nearly died laughin'. Lem turned to me and asked, "Is that fine by you, Callie?" I said sure, then nearly choked tryin' to swallow my laughter. Tressy's face was so funny!
It was a good night. By the time everyone went to bed, spirits were high, and I've a feeling the trail won't look so weary tomorrow.
May 19th, 1847
Rained a bit last night. Prairie grasses and wildflowers starting to bloom. Too tired to write more tonight.
May 22nd, 1847
Today I just couldn't take it no more. I'm tired of havin' to do so much alone. The work don't bother me, it's the loneliness. I don't want to harness Missy in because I want her to have the girlhood I kinda lost, so I let her play and only make her do some of the chores. I watch the other girls and wish I could join in.
But mostly I hear them. Laughing and carrying on, not having to worry about things. They get to sit together and talk about their hopes and dreams. I hear them talkin' to their mas, and I feel a bit of envy because I can't even talk to my ma about what's botherin' me. Much less just talk about anything under the sun.
So as the train moved on after nooning I walked out away from it instead of walking by the wagon. I found a rock and I sat on it and I just started to cry. I was so tired of everything.
Then I heard someone come up. When I finally looked to see who was there, it was Clint. He was just kinda crouched beside me with one knee on the ground, looking off in the distance, not saying a word. I looked away from him, kinda trying to stop crying, but not being able to.
I guess he figured on what I was doing, cause after a while he said quietly, " Ya know, there's nothin' wrong with cryin' if it's for a reason."
I thought on that for a little and then he said, "Ya got a reason?"
I hesitated at first. I mean, would he really understand? Or would he think that loneliness was a dumb reason and laugh at me? I couldn't ever remember Clint laughing at someone, so I decided to tell him. Soon I'd told him why in between tears, and he just sat there either looking at me or the ground or the horizon and listened. He let me finish crying and then he told me he understood.
"I been alone for a long time. I really know about missing a ma. I've missed mine for ten years now. But I've gotten to the point where I realize I ain't alone. I always have God with me. He says he'll never leave me, so I say I got no reason to feel lonely."
He paused and pulled a hankie out of his back pocket and handed it to me. I wiped off my face and gave it back to him.
"Don't forget you've always got God, Callie. I find myself talking to Him more an' more. If you ever need a person to talk to, you can always talk to yer pa. And If he's too busy, I'd be willing to lend an ear."
Then he got up and put his hankie in his pocket and went over to a tree where Flint was tied (shoulda known) and mounted up. He looked at me, pulled at the brim of his hat with his fingers, and rode away.
I thought on what he said while I caught up to the train, and decided to tell God about my feelings. I felt real comfortable doing it, and I was glad Clint had been there to help. When I got back to the train, I went to tell Miss Myrtle what I'd found. She always wants me to tell her about my discoveries in God and she seemed real happy when I told her.
"Oh, girl, I's so happy fo' ya! You done found a secret in growing close to God. Don't fo'get it now, heah?" she told me.
I told her I didn't think I would and then went back to trailing our wagon, talking to God the whole time.
We stopped a little earlier than usual today, since we came to Plum Creek, which is a nice campsite. Some of the folks seemed to think this was a good reason to have a party of sorts. Pa thought it over some and decided to let them. He figured it might do good for some people.
So it was decided that instead of everyone making their own meals, we'd have a potluck dinner, and each person'd bring one or two things. I decided on frying up some meat with potatoes and used some of our dried apples to make a cobbler in the Dutch oven.
I ended up having time to fool around with, and I decided it was high time me and Missy washed our hair. I found some soap in the wagon and we walked up the creek a ways till we found a deep spot. Then we washed our hair, legs, arms, and faces. It felt so good washing off the trail dust.
Then Missy and me just laid on the banks in the sun, with our hair hanging loose so it'd dry. We talked and laughed and played with each other's hair, her plaiting my thick black hair and me trying to curl her own coppery-brown mane. It was such a good time, it felt like just what we used to do back home, when we were younger.
We finally headed back to the wagons, leaving our hair loose because it was still wasn't dry. I'd almost forgot about the cobbler I'd set to bakin', but it didn't burn. I got to work frying up the meat and taters.
Miss Myrtle walked up just as I was getting riled about my hair getting in the way of my cooking. It was dry, but I didn't have time to stop and braid it. "Here, chile," she said, "Sit here on this crate and let me do yo' hair." She pulled a crate up beside the fire so I could still cook and patted it. I took a seat.
"Thanks, Miss Myrtle. Sometimes my mane's just 'bout insufferable." I said, stirring the food.
"Yo' hair is mighty purty. Bible sez that a womanz crown is her hair." Miss Myrtle said as she began to plait my hair." You be grateful you got lotsa hair. Someday you'll lose it like I am." She chuckled. "There now, all done." She patted my shoulder.
"Thanks again, Miss Myrtle."
" Sho', honey, anytime." She smiled." Now, you make sho' you catch yo'self a fella tonight."
"Aw, Miss Myrtle, I ain't into catching myself a fella. I want him to catch me." I said, pulling the meat off the fire.
"Well, then, yo' wiser than I thought." She said as she headed back to her own wagon.
Dusk was starting to fall, so I sat aside the food that we were taking and climbed into the wagon with Missy to get ready for the party. We put on our best dresses and worked on each other's hair.
Soon we were on our way to the gathering at the center of our circle of wagons. Pa, Clint, Joel, and Andy were already there, and they all looked fine in their best shirts with their hair combed. I set the food with the other vittles on the make-shift tables and then went and found Viola and Carl.
"You look lovely tonight, Callie." Viola said as I walked up.
"Well, thanks, but I didn't do nothing special." I replied, kinda embarrassed.
"I think it's the dress. I wish I was as trim as you right now." she said, gesturing to her belly.
"You will be soon enough." I laughed."Then you won't even care 'bout your figure, 'cause you'll only think of that baby!"
"I'll be you're right." Viola smiled and reached for Carl's hand.
Just then somebody started beatin' on a pot to announce that it was time to start the meal. Pa said a prayer and then everyone got in two lines along the sides of the tables. There was so much food to pick from. I mean, it was just regular fare; beans, potatoes, salt pork, bacon, some fish, biscuits, and cornbread, but everyone added their own special ingredients to it. And some even brought things like jams and preserves for the breads. There were even a few dried-fruit pies.
After all the eating, the food was left out for pickin' but covered by tablecloths. Night had nigh fallen, and some of the young men were starting a large bonfire at one end of the camp. Everyone headed that way and stood around.
Apparently Lem and Clint didn't think this was right, because next thing I know, they're playin' away, and there's a square dance beginnin' in front of me. I moved out of the way of the dancers towards the fire, near where the musicians were playing. More folks with instruments had joined Clint and Lem. Mr. Withers was calling out the steps for the dancers, and I sat on a wagon tongue behind his and the players.
Between one of the songs, Mr. Withers turned around and asked, "Why ain't you out there, Callie? I think you're makin' many a feller miss out."
"Don't know how, sir." I replied, adding,"Plus, I don't know that I should."
"Well, then, how's about pickin' a song fer us to play?" he smiled.
"All right. How's Buffalo Gals?" I suggested.
"Fine," he turned and told the players.
After that, he let me pick all the songs. It was nice of him, seein' as how I wasn't doin' nothin' else. Sure was fun, though, watching all the dancers swinging about it the circle of wagons. They laughed and carried on, teasing one another.
One time Tressy flounced up to the players and requested a song, fluttering her lashes. I looked away. The way some girls flirt makes me sick.
But the next minute I nearly died laughin'. Lem turned to me and asked, "Is that fine by you, Callie?" I said sure, then nearly choked tryin' to swallow my laughter. Tressy's face was so funny!
It was a good night. By the time everyone went to bed, spirits were high, and I've a feeling the trail won't look so weary tomorrow.
May 19th, 1847
Rained a bit last night. Prairie grasses and wildflowers starting to bloom. Too tired to write more tonight.
May 22nd, 1847
Today I just couldn't take it no more. I'm tired of havin' to do so much alone. The work don't bother me, it's the loneliness. I don't want to harness Missy in because I want her to have the girlhood I kinda lost, so I let her play and only make her do some of the chores. I watch the other girls and wish I could join in.
But mostly I hear them. Laughing and carrying on, not having to worry about things. They get to sit together and talk about their hopes and dreams. I hear them talkin' to their mas, and I feel a bit of envy because I can't even talk to my ma about what's botherin' me. Much less just talk about anything under the sun.
So as the train moved on after nooning I walked out away from it instead of walking by the wagon. I found a rock and I sat on it and I just started to cry. I was so tired of everything.
Then I heard someone come up. When I finally looked to see who was there, it was Clint. He was just kinda crouched beside me with one knee on the ground, looking off in the distance, not saying a word. I looked away from him, kinda trying to stop crying, but not being able to.
I guess he figured on what I was doing, cause after a while he said quietly, " Ya know, there's nothin' wrong with cryin' if it's for a reason."
I thought on that for a little and then he said, "Ya got a reason?"
I hesitated at first. I mean, would he really understand? Or would he think that loneliness was a dumb reason and laugh at me? I couldn't ever remember Clint laughing at someone, so I decided to tell him. Soon I'd told him why in between tears, and he just sat there either looking at me or the ground or the horizon and listened. He let me finish crying and then he told me he understood.
"I been alone for a long time. I really know about missing a ma. I've missed mine for ten years now. But I've gotten to the point where I realize I ain't alone. I always have God with me. He says he'll never leave me, so I say I got no reason to feel lonely."
He paused and pulled a hankie out of his back pocket and handed it to me. I wiped off my face and gave it back to him.
"Don't forget you've always got God, Callie. I find myself talking to Him more an' more. If you ever need a person to talk to, you can always talk to yer pa. And If he's too busy, I'd be willing to lend an ear."
Then he got up and put his hankie in his pocket and went over to a tree where Flint was tied (shoulda known) and mounted up. He looked at me, pulled at the brim of his hat with his fingers, and rode away.
I thought on what he said while I caught up to the train, and decided to tell God about my feelings. I felt real comfortable doing it, and I was glad Clint had been there to help. When I got back to the train, I went to tell Miss Myrtle what I'd found. She always wants me to tell her about my discoveries in God and she seemed real happy when I told her.
"Oh, girl, I's so happy fo' ya! You done found a secret in growing close to God. Don't fo'get it now, heah?" she told me.
I told her I didn't think I would and then went back to trailing our wagon, talking to God the whole time.
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