{little man}

It all started with a bit of sacrifice. For the longest time, I yearned to have a baby. We hadn't even started trying, and it seemed to me that we never would, even though we'd only been married a little over a year. 

One February Sunday the straw broke the camel's back. We heard at church that a friend's wife was pregnant, and when we got home, I went into the bathroom, sat on the floor, and had a meltdown. I bawled to the Lord that I was tired of waiting, of yearning, so just take the dream and give me peace. It hurt. That's how I know that I really gave it over, because I thought I'd done it before. But this time I felt like my heart really would break. And I felt absolutely drained, like there was nothing left in my soul. 

But the next morning, I had the strangest peace, and I knew that in the Lord's time, he'd give me a baby. Unknown to me, His timing was a few days later. That quickly after surrendering my will to Him, he gave my husband and me a child. 

 My pregnancy seemed perfect to me. Morning sickness, yes, but not enough to make me empty my stomach each time I filled it. Very little heartburn, and papaya enzymes usually took care of that. No back pain. Not a whole lot of weight gain.

 But labor? Oh my, labor was the complete opposite. 24 hours of it, and almost nothing in my birth plan going right. I didn't want any pain killer, and I didn't have any. But when the time for delivery came, the baby didn't want to. So they had to use a vacuum, because both I and the baby were exhausted.

 When he was finally born, I had time to touch his head and say "It's my baby!" faintly before he was whisked away to the NICU because he was born with the cord wrapped around his neck twice. And I had to go home from the hospital two days later without him. 

 But thanks to the prayers of many people, Reuben James came home the next day, November 12th. And we are so happy to have him! Him with his funny little faces. Him with his crazy temper. Him with his full head of hair.

 We are so blessed, and even though each day has a new trial for me {please pray for me, folks. Mommying is harder than I thought and I'm constantly wanting to worry}, I am so thankful for this little man.

 REUBEN JAMES 

born Nov. 10th, 2:39 AM

7lbs. 14oz. 20" long