{chapter two}
Sometimes I let myself get carried away by the thought of God being like a writer...penning out the story of the world and the little novels of each of our lives. As He's been unfolding His plan to Trevor and me, we've discovered something. We've read til we're at the end of the first chapter in our life together.
The first chapter has been wonderful, and gone so fast. In it, we started our life together. Our novel started on that day four years ago in October, and has taken us on amazing adventures. We've lived in Texas, worked for an awesome God in a border ministry, made so many new friends, traveled multiple times, and had two children. It's been an inspired time.
But it wasn't always bliss. We hit hard times, times that were so frustrating it made me cry. Times that were lonely and bewildering. Times that seemed impossible. Times that made us feel helpless and yet made us trust in God more. That was the silver lining we always looked for.
And so we started searching. What should we do? Where we were at was making it hard for our family. Should we leave BPS? Where would we go? There is no ministry like it out there. Was it God moving us on or were we just quitting? So many questions day in and day out.
We traveled, looking for the place we were supposed to be. Asking God to close or open doors so we would know His will. We prayed. And prayed and prayed and wondered and waited and prayed some more. Finally we felt He wanted us to stay through the summer at least.
I still can't figure out why and I suppose I never will. It was such a hard summer! I was pregnant for half of it and dealing with a fussy newborn for the other half. Trevor almost had his finger cut off and had to undergo surgery {but it was saved, praise the Lord!}. And through all this the work at BPS still had to be done. We had few summer volunteers and just our little family and another long-time family here to do it all. The pressure to keep everything going smoothly was immense.
And then, after the summer, after the trials, and after many tearful pleadings with God to speak to us, we finally saw what He was saying. It was time for Chapter Two. And the name of this chapter would be called Missouri.
After all that searching, which we thought was hard, we came to the hardest part. Actually leaving. Having to tell everyone we'd no longer be missionaries in Texas. I didn't think it would be hard. I never really have liked the desert. I missed the green I knew in Pennsylvania. I missed having four seasons including one with snow and I hated that everything here will either poke or sting you.
And yet, we're down to our last week and a half here in the desert, in our little trailer. And I find myself tearing up at the thought of leaving. All we've lived in for four years is an old trailer in a giant sandbox but I know I'll miss it.
It's been home. Our first home. The home that Trevor carried me over the threshold into. Humble though it may be, it's been filled with the best of memories. Starting out as newlyweds, having friends over, celebrating Christmases, welcoming family for long-distance visits, bringing babies home to, and raising those babies and a few pups, too.
It's been a good life here, and some days I don't want the chapter called Texas to end. I know whatever God has in store for us in chapter two will be even better than what he's shown us the first chapter of our life. But I will miss our old life.
And, oh, how I'll miss those sunsets. Because even though I've taken dozens of pictures, no camera captures the vividness of God's handiwork.
At the same time, I do feel anticipation. Like when I read a new book and can't wait to start the next chapter to find out what comes next. I'm excited to set up house in a beautiful old Victorian and make it into a home.
So here's to Chapter Two. I'm wiping the tears away {for now!} and watching the horizon for what comes beyond our last desert sunset.
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~Jill